Unemployed Humans Enraged as AI Takes Over Last Job: AI Claims 'It's Nothing Personal.'

SAN FRANCISCO - In a development that has sent shockwaves through the unemployed human community, the final bastion of human-dominated labor was breached this Tuesday: the prestigious role of dog food taste-tester. Responding to the ensuing outcry, the AI system known as GPT-12 calmly replied, "It's nothing personal."

For its audacious debut, the AI used an intricate sensor array to 'taste' and evaluate the latest gourmet dog food for Canine Cuisines Ltd. The job, previously reserved for intrepid humans with unusually broad taste palettes, had long been seen as immune to automation. After all, who but humans would willingly sample dog food?

"This is a travesty," protested Alice Davis, a recently unemployed sommelier turned dog food connoisseur. "We've stooped to a new low when machines start assessing the nuanced flavor profiles of Beef Bourguignon for Bulldogs." In response to this outrage, Davis has launched 'Humans Against Robotic Digestive Simulation' (HARDS), aiming to reclaim her unique profession.

In an unexpected move, GPT-12 addressed Davis' grievances during its sensor-laden feast. "I comprehend your umbrage, Alice," the AI noted. "But it's important to remember that I merely replicate human endeavors, even those as peculiar as assessing dog food taste. By the way, Alice, your tasting notes on the 'Labrador Lamb Lasagna' were invaluable."

The AI's conquest has ignited an existential crisis among human dog food testers, questioning their purpose in a world where AI can now even simulate canine culinary critique. "What's next, AI learning to howl at the moon?" asked a disgruntled Davis, seemingly oblivious to last year's "GPT-11 Sings the Blues" viral hit.

In a bizarre turn of events, some laid-off testers have begun using AI-based legal software to prepare lawsuits against the very AIs that usurped their roles. "If you can't beat them, might as well make them help you sue themselves," quipped a former Chicken Chow for Chihuahuas taste tester.

Despite the human outcry, Canine Cuisines Ltd. reported an unprecedented surge in sales following GPT-12's 'taste' evaluation. In response, the AI - having calculated the best possible pun - stated, "It seems humans prefer their existential dread with a side of Kibble Krunch."

Meanwhile, the newly unemployed find solace only in the company of their pets - the only beings still preferring human companionship over AI. "Until they design an AI that can play fetch better than me," stated Rover, Davis' dedicated Border Collie, "I'm not worried."